I have been a busy girl, starting the year off by performing
a new show at Catalina's Jazz Club in L.A.. I am now expanding
my repertoire to include a few more living songwriters
(surprise, surprise!) I have always been drawn to great
lyrics, it just happens that most of the great lyricists
wrote in the middle of the last century. But now it is
my pleasure to include songs penned by the master poet
Leonard Cohen, Albert Hammond, Stan Dunn, and Noa ( the
wonderful singer/ songwriter from Isreal) in my repertoire.
The Catalina's shows were great fun, and the highlight
was when Michael McDonald showed up to sing "Traveler's
Waltz" ( lyrics by me, music by him). He is planning
to record it on his next CD. I guess I am really a songwriter
I will be performing in northern California at the end
of the month, please see my calendar page for details!
As usual, I will be accompanied by the great pianist John
Here is a shot of John and I backstage at Catalina's:
Did I mention that I am opening for the amazing guitarist
and five-time Grammy nominee Robben Ford (my husband)
and fellow guitarist/ songwriter Jonathan McEuen?
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was
selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should
not live forever, because if we were supposed to live
forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
BE AWARE that hybrid cars pose a danger because they can
move without making a sound. One was backing up in a parking
spot next to where I was standing ( putting something
in my back seat) and the driver didn't see me, and I didn't
hear her car start. She nearly ran over my foot. Please
be aware of this hazard. I yelled out when I saw the car
moving out of the corner of my eye, but it was a close
is an actual letter to a bank manager from an elderly
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which
I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed
between his presenting the check and the arrival in my
account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course,
to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension,
an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only
eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that
brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my
account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused
to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this
incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial
ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your
telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact
you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging,
pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood
person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore
and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive
at your bank, by check,addressed personally and confidentially
to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be
aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any
other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached
an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee
to complete.I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in
order that I know as much about him or her as your bank
knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history
must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory
details of his/her financial situation (income, debts,
assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented
In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee
with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings
with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits
but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button
presses required of me to access my account balance on
your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am
#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending
#6.. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access
my computer is required. Password will be communicated
to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options
1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact
will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my
automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting
music will play forthe duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must
also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up
of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous
Your Humble Client
And remember: Don't make old People mad.We don't like
being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much
to piss us off.
I experienced an amazing healer recently. His name is
Braco and he is from Croatia. He does not charge money,
he is not a part of any particular religion, he does not
advertise, and he does not speak publicly. He heals large
groups of people at a time by "gazing" at them.
( I know it sounds unusual... but this is how he heals
people!) My personal experience was that he is genuine
and authentic, and I am certain that he helps a great
many people on many different levels of healing. Braco
is already famous in Europe, and the word is spreading
in the US about his unique healing abilities. Seven thousand
people in Munich attended his healing sessions yesterday,
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us
"universe", a part limited in time and space.
He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something
separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion
of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison
for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to
affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must
be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our
circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and
the whole of nature in its beauty."
By Rainer Maria Rilke
of all centres, core of cores,
almond self enclosed, and growing sweet -
all this universe, to the furthest stars
all beyond them, is your flesh, your fruit.
you feel how nothing clings to you;
your vast shell reaches into endless space,
and there the rich, thick fluids rise and flow.
Illuminated in your infinite peace,
billion stars go spinning through the night,
blazing high above your head.
But in you is the presence
that will be, when all the stars are dead.
"We are unutterably alone essentially, especially in
the things most intimate and most important."
- Rainer Maria Rilke
Thank you for reading my musings. May I wish you every happiness
in the Year of the Rabbit.
of love to All Y'all
Stop the words now.
Open the window in the center of
and let the spirits fly in and out.