|
|
|
|
Happy
New Decade!
I have been in retreat-mode with my husband, taking time to
regroup and revive as the old decade slips away. Naturally,
when the new calendar is hung on the wall, there is a sense
of optimism that "things will be better", "out
with the old and in with the new", " focus on your
dreams and your dreams will be fulfilled". A bevy of
astrologers predicted that the auspicious blue moon on December
31st offered us a portal to install wishes for a better future
into our collective consciousness and to seize the opportunity
with all the focus and energy we could muster. Robben and
I went to a group meditation practice on Dec. 31st that allowed
people to burn what they wanted to get rid of (in the form
of papers in a fire pit), then we did some more meditation
practice, followed by a meal, then we came home and enjoyed
a fire in our own fireplace. Not sure if the blue moon or
the new calendar year actually offers any special opportunities
for change, but it seems appropriate to participate in rituals
that allow for the release of old, unwanted stuff.
Personally, I am at a crossroads . I have always been a performing
artist and I have also been on a spiritual path for as long
as I can remember. Motivated to bring these two areas of my
life together, I see my work as a performer as a spill-over
expression of my meditation practice. This is a highly personal
endeavor and somewhat hard to explain. I have been happy (well,
at least resigned) to pursue my work as an actress/singer,
but the commercial market-place for performers can be (is?)
often "anti-art", unsupportive and competitive,
as any performing artist can tell you. Opportunities to do
genuine art don't come along that often, and an artist has
to be keen on the lookout for such opportunities. My Buddhist
teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, advised artists in his book "Dharma
Art" to "let people come to you". He encouraged
non-agression in art and suggested to just "do your thing",
then people who were interested would discover your work.
The catch for me is that a performing artist must have an
audience in order to "do their thing", or to even
practice "doing their thing".. And often, the venue
isn't exactly appropriate for the work, or there is a great
deal of promotion that has to happen to get the word out (which
can be wearisome), or a myriad of other obstacles (such as
financing) that are in the way before the "art part"
can actually even begin to happen.
Last October, I was given a rare opportunity as an artist
to fulfill a vision I had with my work with Kurt Weill's music.
142 Throckmoroton Theatre in Mill Valley, CA. allowed me to
perform these songs as a staged concert on a set. The whole
thing was very simple, and we didn't have much rehearsal time,
but I felt, as an artist, that I finally had THE situation
I had been dreaming of and visualizing for an entire decade,
that I was allowed to do this work in the perfect theatre
with the right people on the stage with me, as many, many
elements came together. And finally doing the performance
was scary, and it was very challenging in many ways, but it
was great to be able to fulfill a vision. I was given a gift
that night that I could do exactly what I wanted to do as
an artist. I am not sure if that is the last time that will
ever happen, or if it is just the beginning of other similar
opportunities. The karma of that particular situation will
certainly reveal itself. If the Throckmorton performance took
ten years to come about, maybe that kind of situation ONLY
happens every ten years. I wonder.
In any case, I made a short film from that
performance, and my new agent Maria Matias is sending
it around.
"The true worth of a man is to be measured by the
objects he pursues"
- Marcus Aurelius
I finally read "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
and thought it was great. There is a reason why it is one
of the best selling books of the last decade.
Here is the Amazon review: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change was a groundbreaker
when it was first published in 1990, and it continues to
be a business bestseller with more than 10 million copies
sold. Stephen Covey, an internationally respected leadership
authority, realizes that true success encompasses a balance
of personal and professional effectiveness, so this book
is a manual for performing better in both arenas. His anecdotes
are as frequently from family situations as from business
challenges. Before you can adopt the seven habits, you'll
need to accomplish what Covey calls a "paradigm shift"--a
change in perception and interpretation of how the world
works. Covey takes you through this change, which affects
how you perceive and act regarding productivity, time management,
positive thinking, developing your "proactive muscles"
(acting with initiative rather than reacting), and much
more. This isn't a quick-tips-start-tomorrow kind of book.
The concepts are sometimes intricate, and you'll want to
study this book, not skim it. When you finish, you'll probably
have Post-it notes or hand-written annotations in every
chapter, and you'll feel like you've taken a powerful seminar
by Covey. --Joan Price
"If you want a quality, act as if you already have
it"
- William James
"It
is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."
- Albert Einstein
"Walking Around"
It so happens I am sick of being a man.
And it happens that I walk into tailorshops and movie
houses
dried up, waterproof, like a swan made of felt
steering my way in a water of wombs and ashes.
The
smell of barbershops makes me break into hoarse
sobs.
The only thing I want is to lie still like stones or wool.
The only thing I want is to see no more stores, no gardens,
no more goods, no spectacles, no elevators.
It
so happens that I am sick of my feet and my nails
and my hair and my shadow.
It so happens I am sick of being a man.
Still
it would be marvelous
to terrify a law clerk with a cut lily,
or kill a nun with a blow on the ear.
It would be great
to go through the streets with a green knife
letting out yells until I died of the cold.
I
don't want to go on being a root in the dark,
insecure, stretched out, shivering with sleep,
going on down, into the moist guts of the earth,
taking in and thinking, eating every day.
I
don't want so much misery.
I don't want to go on as a root and a tomb,
alone under the ground, a warehouse with corpses,
half frozen, dying of grief.
That's
why Monday, when it sees me coming
with my convict face, blazes up like gasoline,
and it howls on its way like a wounded wheel,
and leaves tracks full of warm blood leading toward the
night.
And
it pushes me into certain corners, into some moist
houses,
into hospitals where the bones fly out the window,
into shoeshops that smell like vinegar,
and certain streets hideous as cracks in the skin.
There
are sulphur-colored birds, and hideous intestines
hanging over the doors of houses that I hate,
and there are false teeth forgotten in a coffeepot,
there are mirrors
that ought to have wept from shame and terror,
there are umbrellas everywhere, and venoms, and umbilical
cords.
I
stroll along serenely, with my eyes, my shoes,
my rage, forgetting everything,
I walk by, going through office buildings and orthopedic
shops,
and courtyards with washing hanging from the line:
underwear, towels and shirts from which slow
dirty tears are falling.
by
Pablo Neruda
(Translated by Robert Bly)
Know all things to be like this:
A mirage, a cloud castle,
A dream, an apparition,
Without essence, but with qualities that can be seen.
Know
all things to be like this:
As the moon in a bright sky
In some clear lake reflected,
Though to that lake the moon has never moved.
Know
all things to be like this:
As an echo that derives
From music, sounds, and weeping,
Yet in that echo is no melody.
Know
all things to be like this:
As a magician makes illusions
Of horses, oxen, carts and other things,
Nothing is as it appears.
-The Buddha
Sending much love to All Y'all,
|
|
|
|
|
|
